The Gifted Underachiever

My life so far

Living the love

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It was 23 years ago today that I lost Cathy. We were one month shy of our 23rd Anniversary, so I’ve been longer without her than with her in my adult life.

Each year I become more numb to that loss. It’s not that I’ve forgotten. It’s that I don’t know where we would be right now. 

We are where we are in life because of the decisions we’ve made. I haven’t always batted 1.000, but I’ve tried to point in the right direction whenever I can. I’ve never second guessed myself more during the period right after her death. 

Every time I had to make a choice I hesitated just a second or more. I didn’t have my partner to lean on. Instead everyone was leaning on me.

Twenty-three years is a lifetime for some. It feels like another lifetime ago. 

I think I’ve lived three or four different lifetimes. The one with Cathy changed my life forever.

And my life continues to be changed – I can only hope for the better, but that’s for the final judge to decide.

All I can do is live the life given to me with the love I’ve shared along the way.

Categories: What was I thinking?

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