The Gifted Underachiever

My life so far

Fuzzy math

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Six o’clock in the morning is too early to be doing math. That’s what technology has done for us.

My alarm is set for six. I have to be at work around eight, but I like to get there early when the elevators are nearly empty. So the clock goes off at six, but I know that hitting that snooze button will give me another nine minutes. OK, so 6:09 I should be ready to roll. Let’s see, plus another 15 for shower and shave (shave being the operative word here), five for dressing (with an extra minute to check to check for the least wrinkled shirt or matching socks). Oh, a minute to fix the coffee pot, another to pour a cup and grab the paper. Finally add another 20 to drink up, scan the headlines, check out Doonesbury,┬ápack up and go. Let’s see… that’s another tap of the snooze. Right.

OK, so now we’re down to 6:18. Dang, I didn’t know it was going to be so cold this morning, and my robe is at the foot of the bed. Another nine, ok? Tap.

Wha? Oh, alarm. 6:27? How did that happen? Oh, I remember. Yeah, ok. I’m up, but I’ll tap it just in case.

You know, right? 6:36. OK, I have to get up now. Anyway, I’m doing math so I must be awake.

Sometimes it’s not the math so much as just forgetting things – like coming out of the shower you can hear the alarm blaring because you tapped again rather than push the button. I hate that.

photo-9.jpg So here’s what I want: a clock with a proximity sensor to tell if I’m in bed or not. That’ll take care of the latter situation, but I need a bit more, like a clock loaded with my calendar to see how important is that 8:00 o’clock appointment. And can it be moved? And can the clock notify the other attendees? Maybe reset their clocks, too.

I think what would be easier is a clock that knows what time I turned in for the evening. Then it could do the math and buzz me up at the appropriate snooze stage, say 6:18 or 6:36; 6:45 the latest. I’m glad I rememberd my times tables of 9.

While we’re on the subject, why nine? My old alarm clock let me program the interval. I usually had it set at five, but nine sure is nicer. Who did the study? Who did the math? Just curious.

You know, the lottery’s up to 173 mil. Thinking about getting a ticket with a bunch of nines on it. Then I wouldn’t have to do math before nine again.

Categories: What was I thinking?

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